“You are the most calm person I’ve ever met. It’s like… you don’t give a sh*t if you run out of time.” The scene is very vivid in my memory. I was lying on the grass at Botanical Gardens back in Sydney with my guy BFF while we were enjoying the Autumn breeze. He told me those exact words as we both shared the excitement of being in the pastry kitchen and having the opportunity to share a lot of hustle together. Looking back, I used to be that kind of person; however, living in a fast-paced city like Sydney completely altered my disposition. At times, I would go “YOLOing” and he would tell me, “Stop being a rebel. You’re not 13.” For some reason, I would stop and I’m like OK… Yeah. You’re right. (I always forget I’m an adult.)
The thing I love most about having a guy BFF like mine is that you get the best of two worlds actually. One is that, in every aspect of your life as a bewildered adult, you have someone to consult with the opposite sex. OK. Let’s not go as deep as “feminism” and “gender-equality”, but it’s genuinely just asking about anything under the sun (like probably, how a guy thinks in certain kinds of situation). Two, someone to share a platonic relationship with. NO DRAMA. Just sincerely caring for each other and pushing each other to be the best of who we may become in the future. But don’t get me wrong… We may be your #friendshipgoals but, WE ALSO FIGHT, OK? Like when we’re both pissed at each other, we seriously don’t talk for like two days max. But, hey, we always end up sorting things out. We probably just know when to keep our mouths shut.
For the past year, it has been my BFF (along side with our other friends) who literally was (and is still) beside me during my “roller coaster ride” in Sydney. If not for them, I probably won’t be alive writing this blog post (LOL. OK. That’s too dramatic). But come to think of it. In a span of 12 months, the person whom I spent my time annoying and teasing actually taught me A LOT about life in more ways than one.
HEALTH COMES FIRST ABOVE ANYTHING ELSE. I have this frustrating habit of just letting things pass when I’m not feeling well and to those of you who have been with me in person, ya’ll know how “sick” I am when I say I’m sick. Let’s not go through my long novel of medical history. I tend to just google my symptoms and hope that my self-medication works, fingers-crossed. My BFF would always push me to go visit the doctor and I always resisted. Apparently, the last time he took me to the doctor… it wasn’t that bad. Just that, I was almost in the brink of “you-can-get-paralyzed” if you don’t do the therapies kind of thing.
Lesson Learned: Do not self-assess. Seek a professional medical practitioner.
PEOPLE WILL ALWAYS SAY SOMETHING ABOUT YOU. In the early stages of our friendship, we always thought we were both “judgmental” in so many levels. We always tell each other our views about so many things (and people). In that regard, I realized… no matter how hard you try, you can’t just simply please everyone. There will be people who will judge you whatever you do. May I just quote what remained in my memory when I was crying to him over messenger because I felt judged just recently? “Live your life. Do what makes you happy, not what makes them happy. Stop pleasing other people. No matter how hard you try, you can’t live your life just trying to please everyone.” True story, apparently.
Lesson Learned: So dear friends… STOP. TRYING.
SEEK RELATIONSHIPS THAT ARE OF QUALITY, NOT OF QUANTITY. “If he values his pride like it’s some Prada-shit, then it’s not worth it.” I mean wow. For quite some time, I have been feeling down for all the wrong reasons and people, but this words from him struck me. It makes me laugh every time I remember this though. My BFF is not the type of guy who has a web of friends from all over the universe, but he taught me that he would rather have just a friend or two who are genuine rather than a thousand who knows nothing about his real personality. Don’t take this the wrong way, he’s a friendly and very approachable guy.
Lesson Learned: It takes more than a simple hi and hello to be promoted from “acquaintance” to “friends”. Building relationships takes time, efforts, and a whole-lot of trust.
WHATEVER HAPPENS TO YOU, LIFE GOES ON. There was a point in my life where I have been so depressed that I did not come out of my room for like three days straight. Every little thing that I would see would trigger me of all the bitterness that I could possibly take hold of from my chest. I was crying. My best friend would always ask me how I was each day, and it was probably the most exasperating feeling knowing that the person you used to spend happy times with is just in her room crying and not eating. Let’s all assume that’s how he felt that night. Haha. I’m an assuming person like that. So anyway, after long hours of our conversation, he finally sent me a message that opened my eyes into reality. “Grow up! You are not in a real life K-Drama. Stop being indecisive. You don’t have to make things hard for yourself. Leaving or staying is not supposed to be a tough decision to make. You know what’s best for you. Remember, decide for yourself and think about your well-being. The rest is nothing.” And so I did. I made a tough choice of leaving Sydney for a few months. I thought maybe, if I would try to heal myself from my invisible wounds, perhaps it’s better if I was in a familiar set-up. I told myself, he was absolutely right. It would probably be good for me emotionally, mentally, and physically if I was back in my comfort zone for some time… and yeah, it feels good to be back.
Lesson Learned: It’s OK not to be OK. It’s OK to fall apart, but learn when and where to reset.
TIME IS ALWAYS VALUABLE, NO EXCUSES. I’m usually late and he hates me for it. If only being late could kill, I am probably dead (multiple times) by now. LOL. There are things my BFF won’t ever trust me with. 1. Going to the doctor when I know I’m sick. 2. Getting to places with just a map (he’s my personal GPS, so I’m too spoiled to even read Google Maps.) 3. Not eating the foods that I’m allergic with. 4. BEING ON TIME. To those of you who knows us personally, you know how early he always is and you know I’m the exact opposite. But, I’m working on my “timing”, OK? Except when unexpected shit happens (like train being delayed for “suicide” reasons which happens in Sydney on a monthly basis, or having to get my house-movers’ truck fit through the parking space which literally has 2 meters vertical clearance while my friends are waiting for me for lunch). MY APOLOGIES. But, aside from unanticipated circumstances like those, there is NOOOO ACCEPTABLE EXCUSE for being late, and that’s what I’m still learning up to this moment. My BFF would always tell me, “You can’t always make people wait for you like your time is the only thing that’s valuable. They have a lot of things on their plate as well. It’s not always about you. That’s another person’s time wasted with you being late, you know?” OK, princess. The-royalty-is-never-late-it’s-just-that-people-arrived-early doesn’t work in reality.
Lesson Learned: Time is valuable. When it’s gone, it’s gone. Time is wealth but unlike money, you can’t replace it. So stop wasting other people’s time. Their time is just as costly as yours.
To be honest, an entire blog post is not enough with the sooo many lessons I learned (and still learning) by just having a conversation with my BFF. Things like spending money, and how one person can never be too independent, or planning the future wisely ahead, building empires, and sometimes outrageous stuff which I never thought I would ever encounter… I probably already talked about it with him. I am just beyond lucky to have met him in my lifetime. Just like what I said on my previous post, if you meet those people who still believes in you despite what you’ve been through, cherish them. THEY ARE YOUR PEOPLE.
Every time I do something, I would always ask him jokingly, “What would you do without me?” And he would always answer with a laugh, “I would die without you.” Hahaha. It’s funny, because actually it’s the other way around. “Dear Best Friend, I honestly don’t know what to do without you.”
I hope one day, you meet your best guy friend too (and yeah, we also go through that part when everyone thinks he’s my boyfriend or I’m his girlfriend and people think it’s hard to tell coz we’re always together. LMAO). We just laugh it off, but on a serious note… The best part of it is that no matter what happens, you always know that you have someone who listens regardless of how long your rant is and he will hit you back with reality. He will be your partner-in-crime, and though sometimes he may be too “honest” for a guy, you know he is just being logical. This is ADULTING. Life will give you lessons the hard way, it’s up to you who you learn it with.