Hi, friends! I’m Bobbie, a mental health advocate and clinically diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder 2 with GAD (General Anxiety Disorder). I am currently taking maintenance medications and continuing consultations with my psychiatrist and I am jovial to share that I am into remission with my anxiety. It has been a very tough battle, but with persistence, prayers, and a strong support system, I was able to conquer it. My Bipolar Disorder remains the same, as it is something that cannot be cured but can be generally managed. If you have just recently found my website, I would like to welcome you here, and if you’re already one of my readers since 2016, glad to see you again on this sharing space! This article is nothing political, no sides, no colors, no biases, so if you’re expecting something of that matter in this post, I’m afraid this is not it. However, if you are one of those people who have found themselves recently substantially anxious, easily triggered, distressed, discouraged, feeling tiresomely hopeless, and feeling like it’s hard to cope up, then I encourage you to read this piece.

In the past three years, I have practiced multiple techniques of grounding to pacify my anxiety. I have done all of the techniques by myself, wherever I am comfortable, at home, at a safe space, in my car, or sometimes even in the middle of somewhere chaotic, so the techniques I am about to share are very easy to follow. Grounding is a skill that is very helpful with dealing with too much stress, overwhelming feelings or emotions, and an effective way to segregate your thoughts instead of being trapped in the noise inside your mind that triggers your anxiety.

With the recent 2022 elections in the Philippines, a lot of us felt intense emotions when the results came out and the election climate has been severely unbalanced since then. A lot of people felt distraught and dismay, and Social Media has become a negative space for most. It does not matter how you voted, or how you remained neutral, the elections most likely triggered stress, anxiety, and Post Election Stress Disorder. According to Bridges to Recovery Beverly Hills, “PESD may not be an official medical diagnosis, but the uncertainty, worry, and fear surrounding the post-election period does cause a variety of mental health symptoms. Uncertainty and stress over the future of politics and the nation rank high as causes of symptoms. Also at issue is the fact that it is difficult to get away from politics right now.”

“While everyone reacts a little differently, some signs and symptoms are common:

  • Physical tension and stress, like tight shoulders, headaches, and gastrointestinal stress
  • Insomnia and other sleep issues
  • Fear and hypervigilance
  • Anxiety and worry
  • Depression
  • Obsession with the news and updates on social media
  • Angry outbursts
  • Withdrawal and social isolation”

Sources : www.bridgestorecovery.com and https://newsnetwork.mayoclinic.org/

GROUNDING TECHNIQUES AND HOW TO FIND YOURSELF CALM AND AT PEACE:

I have been practicing these techniques in my three years of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and understanding that not all of us have the access to Psychosocial Health Care, I would like to share these practices to anyone who might be needing these. I am not a mental health doctor or practitioner, so if you feel like your symptoms are more severe, please do yourself a favor and seek medical intervention from professionals in Psychiatry. These techniques are also helpful not just for Post Election Stress Disorder, but for the management of general anxiety and intense stress.

1. RE-CENTER AND REFOCUS

The elections took a lot of energy and time for many from the start until end, and while a lot of us have already moved on, some are still in the “post-elections-hangover”, ending up in unhealthy political banters. If you find yourself having a hard time focusing on the vital matters of your life, like your job, your relationships, your family, your hobbies, then it’s most likely time to re-center and refocus. With this, I encourage you to write a list of positive things that you want in life, a list of positive things that you already have, and a list of things that bring you happiness. This will help you find your core and center, and bring you back to your goals and dreams. It’s like a bucket list of positive things, but instead of looking into big things too far down the future, it will take you back to your reality while focusing on the “nows”, instead of “what-ifs”. Create a new paradigm of thoughts for yourself, and try not to dwell on the phrase, “bad things will happen soon.” This brings us to our second technique…

2. MANIFESTATION AND MEDITATION

Essentially, manifestation is bringing something concrete and visible from your desired life to your physical life. It is believing that whatever you desire in thoughts will become your reality. Now this does not happen overnight. As I have said in technique number 1, create a new paradigm or pattern of thoughts for yourself. Where you have tension in life, always be open to seeing that situation in a new way. Instead of looking into the negative side of the things happening around you, just like the results of the election, try to focus on positive manifestation. This is not as easy as it may sound, as they say that acceptance is key. THIS IS NOT. As from someone who has been through so many traumatic life events, acceptance is not as simple as that. Acceptance is something that takes time with strong will power, however in our case, elections results and politics are something out of our control, no matter how hard we tried. We know in ourselves that we did our best. What we can control is how we react and respond to it. If ever you find yourself anxious with the result, thinking about bigger pictures about failure of the future, with the thoughts “what will happen tomorrow”, “my country is so messed up”, “this government will be a jungle”, “the results are distressing”, then you are manifesting negativity in your mind which is not healthy for you. Remember, manifestation is law of attraction. What you think, will become. For this, I would like you to try to mute the negative thoughts and for every negative thought, exchange it to something that you desire and to something that you want to actually happen. Here are examples of positive paradigm (post-elections and daily life):

  • From “What will happen tomorrow?” to “I am thankful for today, and looking forward for tomorrow.”
  • From “My country is so messed up.” to “I love my country, and I will be a better citizen for it to be better.”
  • From “This government is a jungle.” to “I may not like this government, but I will try my best to help my countrymen and make my country a better place.”
  • From “The results are distressing.” to “The results may not be in my favor, but I believe that everything happens for a reason. I may not understand it now, but I know that there are greater plans for my life that I will see and achieve in the future.”
  • From “This government will fuck us up.” to “I have no control with what people do to me, but I have control on what I need to do with my life and I am fully responsible for it.”
  • From “My candidate did not win. He is more deserving than the candidate who won.” to “I believe in the full potential of the candidates I voted for, and I trust that they are capable to help our country in other ways even if they are not elected.”
  • From “This country will remain a third world country.” to “I will help and do my best to make the country a safe space for my family to live in. If not, I have the power over my life and I can find a more livable and tolerable environment for ourselves. “
  • From “I don’t see light at the end of this tunnel.” to “I don’t see light at the end of this tunnel, therefore I shall create my own light to get pass it.”
  • From “I am scared of what tomorrow will bring.” to “Tomorrow is something scary, but I am sure that nothing is permanent and I will get through whatever life throws at me.”
  • From “This is too difficult for me to accept.” to “Time will pass, and this too shall pass and everything will fall into its right place, at the right time, in God’s perfect timing.”

REMEMBER, NOTHING IS CERTAIN UNLESS IT HAS ALREADY HAPPENED. Meditation helps in muting the noise in your mind. If you need guided meditations to clear out your head, Headspace App helped me in so many levels. (DISCLAIMER: This post is not sponsored by Headspace). There are many ways to meditate, and the techniques in meditation help you become more mindful of your thoughts and thinking patterns. Meditation helped me a lot in how I perceive and respond to the world around me. Simple meditation reduces stress and helps in the management of anxiety disorders.

3. FIND A DISTRACTION

It is very hard to release triggers when your mind is very much engaged to it. Especially with politics, you will see it everyday on Social Media, on TV, just hanging outside your doorstep, just listening to people talking about it. It is everywhere and you will absorb it no matter what. The easiest technique I do is finding distractions. In my case, I watch comedies and Korean Dramas, and I attend online classes to nurture my skills. These allow me to get away from the lingering stressful thoughts. This is very effective for me. Especially when you can’t seem to turn your brain off to noisy thoughts about the election and its outcome, find something else to do: find a new hobby, arrange your closet, learn a new skill, pamper yourself with the things that make you happy, play a new game, take your family on road trips, enjoy the beauty of nature, paint something on a blank canvass. There are a lot of ways to distract yourself and ultimately lessen your stressful triggers.

4. SET HEALTHY BOUNDARIES

In this terribly divided time, a lot of people struggle because of division in their families, relationships, friendships, and groups. While some peacefully set aside their differences, a lot have ended up expressing their resentment actively and resulted in arguing and unhealthy bantering which causes more stress. This does not only happen during elections time, but also in your daily life. Just because everyone feels one way about something doesn’t mean you are required to adopt that feeling. Again, you are the captain of your life. You have the power to decide who has access to you. People will continue to do what you allow. You have the right to say no to what does not align with your values and say yes to what does, and do not feel guilty about it. However in the process, things can get emotional and tense and we can get carried away. Be honest to your circle. If you can stay away from conversations that will destroy your inner peace, that would be best! If you feel like you need to cut-off toxic people in your life, then do it for your peace. A simple disagreement may not be enough reason, but ask yourself. “What has this person done for me in the past?” I recently asked myself this. My experience was nothing political, but I have recently cleaned up my circle. I have done so many favors for some people and I realized that I give too much of myself that I forget how to care for it. The space we shared as friends have become too toxic and noisy for me and I easily absorb the stress in that space that I decided to just let it go. It was hard at first, but then I found myself peaceful after doing it. Do not be afraid to let people lose. The people who ultimately cares about you will reach out to you in many ways. If you feel like you are the toxic person, then it is time to re-evaluate. We all have our toxic sides, and that’s ok, that’s what makes us human. Feel it. But don’t be too harsh on yourself, love yourself enough to establish what you can tolerate.

5. THE SUBTLE ART OF NOT GIVING A F*CK (BUT STILL BEING GRATEFUL)

This is a title of a book by Mark Manson, but I have decided to make it a very effective grounding technique for myself. I am not referring to the book, but to my outlook in life. When I say, “I don’t give a shit with what’s happening”, often people misunderstand the concept. Some people might think that I mean living life not concerned to everything and not giving a shit at all. But this would only mean carelessness, thoughtlessness, being rude, apathetic, and many other unpleasant words. It means you wouldn’t care about anything that happens to anyone or to society or to your country, showing a huge lack of feelings and responsibility — which would finally issue from a lack of empathy. However, my perception of this is different. WHY DO WE ALWAYS REACT TO EVERY LITTLE THING AROUND US? Believe me, you’ll have less problems and stress when you filter and choose the things you want to give a f*ck about. The problem with our society is that we want to solve bigger problems, way bigger than the things we can handle ourselves. We picture life as a fairytale with happy endings, that things will get better if we solve bigger problems. But congratulations! You just got a free ticket to an awesome experience of frustrations in loop. Try to accept reality as it is and stop desiring more. When we try to desire more materially and eventually be able to get them, we become comfortable and start enjoying these things, and when we enjoy too much we would be wanting more because that’s human nature, but then it’s a never ending dissatisfaction. IT’S OK THAT LIFE IS UNFAIR AND LIFE SUCKS. It really is, because that’s part of it. That’s how life was made. We always wish for a perfect life, better than what we already have, that we start having different values. If you bear in mind that life sucks and it should suck every now and then, things start to affect you in a different way. Bad things happen, and suffering is inevitable. It’s important to understand that things doesn’t always happen the way we plan it, people react against our expectations, things can always go wrong, and we will always get unfair treatment every once in a while and THAT’S OK. THAT IS NORMAL. When we eventually accept this fact, our way of thinking suddenly and magically changes. The way we react to things instantaneously evolves.

The thing is, we are constantly hearing things about how a good life should be. It should always be happy, and positive, and luxurious, and comfortable, and clean. Our future should always be bright and brilliant and fantastic! These desires lead us to overwhelming anxiety about our future and thinking this way only leads to discontentment, grief, and never ending frustrations about life. WE ARE ALWAYS AFRAID TO SUFFER! Our fear of suffering and failure is our biggest enemy. But… let’s face the fact. SUFFERING IS ESSENTIAL TO OUR GROWTH. When we experience this, we experience pain and discomfort and being outside our comfort zone enables us to seek for change. Change starts from within. The next time you feel uncomfortable and you feel hopelessness and pain, allow yourself to feel it. Trust me! It will change you in so many levels. Reassure yourself that everything that happens is teaching you something. In your journey, there will be “in between times” of transition. You may feel lost, confused, angry, unseen or empty. Don’t confuse these times of transition as a forever state of being. You are breaking away from what was, creating space for what will be.

(I have written a similar post on acknowledging pain and pulling yourself together): https://wanderbitesbybobbie.com/real-talk-acknowledge-that-youre-hurting-but-pull-yourself-together/

Do not be afraid to be wrong. Why does our choices have to be right all the time? We have to accept this fact. Nothing is perfect, nothing is absolute, and WE WILL ALWAYS BE WRONG AND THAT’S OK! We have to understand that there is no growth without error.

People always ask me. “How can I remain calm in a situation like this? Why am I not affected with the results?” We all have our values, these define our view of our own lives, and the world, and happenings around us. It defines how we ultimately react to things and how we accept the world in our own perspective. I have decided to master the subtle art of not giving a f*ck on bigger problems because my values and morals guide me through it. Which leads me to my final grounding technique.

6. SEEK GUIDANCE FROM A HIGHER POWER

I am a Christian, but this applies to any belief or religion you may have. Being a Christian, I have faith that the power I believe in is greater than any government or governance in this world. I am only passing into this life and this generation, and this is not my final destination. I am born Filipino, but my citizenship is not here.

Philippians 3:20 “But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ”

I believe that the world I live in will eventually perish, thus I do not focus and draw intense attention to the things of this world.

Hebrews 13:14 “Here on earth we do not have a city that lasts forever, but we are looking for the city that we will have in the future.”

As I have said in grounding technique number 6, the more we desire and want things materialistically more than what we have, the more we get dissatisfied. Sure, we want a better future and better life, but the life we have here is not absolute.

1 John 2:15-17 “Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life—is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever.”

1 John 5:19 “We know that we are children of God and that the world around us is under the control of the evil one.”

1 Timothy 6:7-10 “For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. Those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.”

Despite the results of the election, it may or may not be in our favor, but always remember as Christians, whoever sits in that position, our life is guided by an ultimate power, greater than any president in the country, more powerful than any ruler in this world.

Romans 13:1-3 Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. Consequently, whoever rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves. For rulers hold no terror for those who do right, but for those who do wrong. Do you want to be free from fear of the one in authority? Then do what is right and you will be commended.

And if you find yourself having a hard time with accepting our reality, always remember as Christians that our God is sovereign. Pray for guidance for our leaders in this life. Pray for their intentions and do not wish for them to fail.

Daniel 2:21 He changes times and seasons; he deposes kings and raises up others. He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning.

DO NOT WORRY

Release your anxieties, your stress, your angst, and your fears, because it is our God who teaches us not to worry.

Matthew 6:25-32  “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.”

 

THESE GROUNDING TECHNIQUES WORKED FOR ME FOR 3 YEARS UNTIL NOW.

What works for me, may not work for everyone as we all have have different coping mechanisms. These are only SOME of the many techniques that I have tried myself. I am also into Physical Techniques for Mindfulness and Stress Management (which I am willing to share on a different post). But, I sincerely hope that you find peace and happiness and contentment in this life. After all, that’s all we desire. It’s more than just a better and united country. We want this country to be better, because we want our lives to be better. The impact of the choice we make greatly affects our lives and THAT IS NATURAL. Things will not be our way all the time and THAT IS ALSO OK. Always remember that we are 100% responsible for our life events. We determine how we choose our values and how we react to certain situations. Know that at any given moment, you are interpreting your own life, not your neighbor’s life, not your countrymen’s life, but your own. Before you make big changes for the society and for the world, be able to create a better small world for yourself and your loved ones first. Your mental health should be your top priority because that is where you draw your strength to reach your full potential. Start with something small, something you will be capable to reach within your life first. Interpret life beautifully and see it through the lens of joy, peace, love, and gratitude. See yourself as someone who is deserving and worthy, that you have no option other than to believe it and act on it. That is POWER, and it’s yours, available to you once you realize you have it. 🙂

Thank you for reading, I know its long, I’m sorry. I’ve wrote it in a way that’s easy to grasp and I hope you found something out of this long narrative.

 

DO YOU HAVE ANY GROUNDING TECHNIQUES THAT YOU WOULD LOVE TO SHARE WITH THE WORLD? ARE YOU ALSO GOING THROUGH THERAPY AND REMISSION? WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS? I’D LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU! FEEL FREE TO COMMENT AND SHARE YOUR TECHNIQUES TO THE WANDERBITES COMMUNITY!